I could still remember the excitement I feel every time it dawns on me that my birthday is nearing. I am always looking forward to it back then. Birthdays meant the whole world to me for not only does it offer me the spotlight for the whole day but it also gives me a feeling of being an inch closer to my dreams. Adulthood equates to an arena of possibilities. A bucket full of dreams. And that was where I want to dip my whole body in but obviously could not.
Adulthood. A big word. A wide world. My frustration as a kid. A distant reality. A place that could only be reached through time and waiting.
Alas, a few years and so, I am now here.
I have now made the first baby steps to adulthood’s steep, crooked and endless staircase.
Birthdays still stir my emotions but not anymore in the same way as that when I was a kid. The excitement is now gone and had now been replaced by a sense of urgency. Urgency to reach now for those dreams that were once distant realities. Urgency to now get moving for the time and place where I am now in is obviously the ideal time and place to actualize those dreams.
Birthdays, instead, are now like a painful and shrilly alarm of an alarm clock. What you could only do is press the snooze button and steal a couple minutes of sleep for stopping it, especially if you still could not muster enough strength to get up, means suicide. Prolonging and impeding is all that you could do, for you yourself would not want, in any way, to be sucked all your life by the promising but lowly comfort of your comfort zone.
Birthdays now act as a reminder that the clock is a-ticking. That everything is now moving forward and moving fast. I hope I will find the courage to stop pressing the snooze button and just do what I have and want to do with my life soon. Soon, before the next alarm starts ringing again.
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